Over the past three years I have noticed significant change in my wife. When I married her I knew she was beautiful, loving, generous, and family oriented but at that time I had neither fully experienced those characteristics nor grasped their depth. Today I would add patient, theologically minded, frugal (a good thing) and more knowledgeable of my self than I am.
I want to address each of those new characteristics one by one.
First - Patient. If you were to ask Laura’s siblings or parents to pick one word [or even ten words] to describer her, patient would never have been one of them. If you ask me, it’s in the top three now. This is not a general patience in the sense that she can handle a minor annoyance for a short period of time. This is an enduring strength that wanes very slowly and isn’t angered easily. I’m not going to digress into self deprecation but she does put up with a lot of my faults. I don’t know how many times we have talked about love languages and how I can make her feel special on a day to day basis but my actions inevitably show that I have completely forgotten or temporarily misplaced my memory of those conversations so after an extended period of time she reminds me and we start over again. She really embodies what a grace based marriage looks like so I added that to the list of reasons why I love her.
Second – Theologically Minded. Laura was saved as a child and to my knowledge she has never questioned those beliefs. This wasn’t the case for me. Because of this difference, theology didn’t really interest her a great deal…until about a year ago. I think the major change happened while we were regularly having some Mormon missionaries into our house to discuss what it means to have a relationship with Christ. During these six or eight weeks Laura started to notice that a few nuances in theological wording make a big difference. Those theological issues that we addressed like the trinity, baptism, the person of Christ, and the extent and nature of the atonement are what differentiate Christianity from other heresies. I have noticed since then a new and sustained interest in theology. Since then we have talked off and on about the trinity, she reads Al Mohler’s blog (very sexy, her reading the blog not Al Mohler), and she is reading specifically about theology and women. I didn’t marry and average woman, she goes above and beyond in everything she does. One day I caught her reading Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology in bed, nothing turns me on more than my wife in bed with a thick book on reformed theology.
Third – Frugal. The woman can shop. I mean that in a good way. Laura and I are convinced that it is both biblical and best for her to stay at home with our children but this occasionally creates some financial strains. To make sure that we can still put food on the table, give generously, and not go crazy Laura started using coupons when she goes to the grocery store. That task is much more difficult that it sounds if you want to really save some money. She generally spends a few hours a week planning, cutting, and organizing coupons to save the most money possible. I don’t know the exact numbers but she typically saves us 25%-50% of what we would have been spending had she not taken on that responsibility. I can’t help but think of Proverbs 31 when I see how she plans and stewards our finances like this so we can buy some new clothes for the kids or so I can buy a cup of coffee every now and then. She is far more precious than jewels and my heart trusts in her because she does me good all the days of my life.
Fourth – She Knows Me Better Than I Do. This is scary. Really, it’s freaky. I will be trying to make a decision about something and Laura will know not only what I am going to do but what my thought process is. If Laura is buying me something it doesn’t take her long to know exactly what to get me and to be fully confident that I will love it. She knows me perfectly and is always thinking about what I would and would not like. She does this when it comes to buying clothes, decorating the house but appreciate this the most when it comes to cooking. I can be a little picky sometimes but I can’t think of a time where Laura has tried a new recipe that I really didn’t like. That because, like I said, she is always thinking about me.
As we get ready to have our second child I’m so thankful for a wife who is dedicated to our children and to me. I’m so thankful for a wife who is patient. I’m so thankful for a wife who loves God and I am so thankful for a wife who loves me.