Similarities?

Do you think they look anything alike??

Ainsley (few days old)

Ellie (a few days old)

Sisters

Ellie is doing extremely well with her little sister. She is always very excited to see her after she has been gone, and loves to tickle her feet! We are trying to be very cautious with the two, which is hard work and leads to some frustration. Life is definitely going to be different with two, but we are excited and still can't believe we are parents of two!

Ainsley had a doctor's appointment this morning, and is finally gaining weight back! If you don't know much about newborns, they loose weight the first few days and will hopefully start to gain it back when mother's milk comes in or they start eating really well. It's a huge relief to know that she has gained weight, especially when she's gaining it fast! She gained 3 oz in 2 days, they only expect 1 oz per day! This is very exciting and we are so thankful that things are going so well and for such a healthy girl!

Brian Regan on Cooking

So you probably want to hear or see a picture of the baby, but this is just so funny. I wondered why cooking always looked so easy on tv, and then whenever I cook it was never that easy! I hope you get a laugh out of this, Brian Regan is just hilarious:

Ainsley Ruth is Here!

We are so excited that Ainsley Ruth is finally here! She came Wednesday, December 16, at 5:03am. I would make Zach tell the labor story because he did an amazing job with Ellie's story, but he actually wasn't there! So let me start from the beginning...

Monday, Zach had an opportunity come up at work where they needed him to travel to Boston Tuesday and Wednesday. My immediate response was like WHAT?!? of course you can't go, I could have the baby at any moment! However after much thought, it would look really bad if he went and I didn't go into labor AND I most likely wasn't going to go into labor. He allowed me to make the decision, and after much thought I decided it would be best for him to go. So he left at 4am Tuesday morning and was supposed to fly back at 3pm on Wednesday afternoon. He of course would be able to drop what he was doing at any moment and catch a flight home, unless it was in the middle of the night where there are no flights from Boston to Raleigh. Well, low and behold, I started to go into labor in the middle of the night the one night he was gone...

At 2:30a, I woke up having a contraction. I had been having some contractions earlier in the evening around 5p that were 7 minutes apart, but they went away. I was thinking that this was going to be the same thing because it had been going on like this for a week. I got up, went to the bathroom, then laid back down and waited for the next contraction. It was only 5 minutes until the next one, and during this one I think Ainsley kicked and I heard a pop. I thought my water might have broken, but there was no fluid. I went to the bathroom again, and had some leakage, but still no idea if my water really had broken. I kept timing the contractions, which were more painful than the braxton hicks I had been experiencing. They were consistently 5 minutes apart, but I waited an hour to make sure they didn't go away. Around 3:15 I knew that even if my water hadn't broken, I was in labor. I woke up my mom (who came and stayed with me since Zach was gone), called Zach, and started to finish packing my bag. My mom called my sister, who was then immediately on her way to my house to watch Ellie.

While packing my bags and getting some things situated, the pain got worse. At 4a, I was ready for an epidural. I told my mom that we needed to go ASAP! Within a few minutes, we were out the door! Now Zach hadn't informed my mom of this, but when I'm in severe pain, you don't talk to me. So my mom was trying to encourage me and was really excited, but I wouldn't let her say a word. I wanted an epidural NOW, and that's all I had to say. The ride was extremely difficult and painful, I was encouraging my mom to go as fast as she could. We arrived at the hospital around 4:20. After I got put into a room, the nurses were trying to ask me questions and get everything ready. All I cared about was getting an epidural and getting it NOW! They told me I needed to answer the questions and they needed to get some blood. Well I think they knew I was not going to be getting one and that baby was coming soon. I would say around 4:45 I had started pushing (beyond my control, I couldn't help it). The doctor wasn't there yet, so the nurses were trying to keep me from pushing, but they thought they might be delivering her themselves. They ended up calling another doctor in, but my doctor finally arrived in time to help deliver Ainsley and she arrived at 5:03! She weighed 8lbs 5 oz (big girl! Ellie was 7lb 7oz) and measured 21 inches long. She was perfect, beautiful and healthy!


Zach took the first flight out in Boston and arrived at the hospital at 9:30a. We were able to spend some time alone, just us with Ainsley... and I finally was able to rest. I am doing great and feeling great, just tired. We actually came home yesterday, December 17, since we were all doing so well. It's definitely difficult having a newborn and toddler, but luckily my mom is here to help! Thanks for your prayers, continue to pray as we learn to live as a family of 4 and for little Ainsley as she grows. We can't wait for you to meet her if you haven't already!

Our new addition

Close up of Ainsley's chubby, cute cheeks AND dark hair!!

Zach already reading to Ainsley

38 weeks

No change from 2 weeks ago except that my cervix is very soft and 50% effaced! I'm still 2cm dilated, she's still head down and in the -2 position. I'm feeling much better, still have a slight cough, but the infection is gone! I also only got up once last night to potty, which is a first in FOREVER (maybe 7 months??). This also means that I slept very well, only waking that once and then when I had to turn over (which probably was at least a handful of times). This is amazing sleep compared to how I was sleeping. Maybe I'm resting up for the big day!

My body is definitely getting ready for labor, but no telling when it will be. The doctor said most likely I'll be just a few days early like Ellie, but she wouldn't be surprised if I went tonight or a week late. I feel finally ready and somewhat anxious, so I'm trying to be patient and enjoy these last days with just us three. (However, I started walking again now that I feel better to encourage Ainsley to come... we'll see if it works). Keep praying for us!

Traditions and Christmas

Here we are again. Its December and the Christmas season is in full swing. The tree is up, the lights are on, the house smells like gingerbread and my weight is slowly climbing.

Laura and I (mostly me) love the seasonal activities more than I should. To prove how much I love the season I took a picture of my first "Christmas cup" from Starbucks back in November. You can see it here.

We love the season and we love the seasonal activities but we are a little sad that we don't have any traditions so my wife and I are investing in either an advent wreath or an advent calendar so that we can make all our celebrations truly about Christ.

We believe that a tradition is more than a ritual. Not passing judgment but in most cases celebrating Christmas eve/day with your family is a habit not a tradition. Opening gifts is a custom not a tradition. Visiting grandma and grandpa and eating the exact same meal every year is a ritual not a tradition.

A tradition is a regular activity that purposefully helps adults and children know, love, desire and treasure God in the most real sense.

Now, just having an advent wreath or calendar doesn't accomplish this but, by as a family reading scripture and lighting a candle each Sunday of advent we are continually reminded of what this season of celebration and hope is all about. Having this as the regular and repeating focal point of the celebration helps everything else to fall in order.

Laura and I are also careful not just about what we do at Christmas but what we do not do at Christmas. We believe that Santa is too much of a distraction and competing force to the true meaning of Christmas so we don't "do Santa." You're not a bad parent if you do but we can't justify it to ourselves. Our fears and objections are not abstract. I have listed the reasons why as a family we chose not to "do Santa" as well as the two big objections we get and our response to them.

Why we don't do Santa

1) Santa adds the the already overwhelming attitude of consumerism and materialism our culture throws at our children. Santa's purpose is to bring kids the gifts they want. He is the focus and highlight of the season and we aren't okay with that. If opening gifts is the highlight of Christmas we have failed our children. Our God is a cultivator of new things not a consumer of created things. We don't celebrate him buying stuff.

2) Santa isn't real. Everybody likes fairytales and fiction but no one asks you to actually believe they are true. First of all, if I ask my kids to believe this fairytale and then they find out it isn't true there will be anger and distrust or at best, disappointment that I caused. Second, we don't really ask our children to believe in the boogieman, the Easter bunny, or leprechauns so why is Santa so important?

3) If we celebrate Christmas with Santa and elves as well as the nativity and maggai we are postponing our kids ability to understand the truth of what God has done. I heard a great quote to this effect: "Its very difficult for children to sort through the marble cake of part reality and part imagination to find the crumbs of truth." We want our children to understand God as much as possible at whatever age, we should try and avoid what could distort this understanding.

4) For an uncritical and easily convinced child Santa must be confusing. He is so much like what our kids are being taught at home and church that God is like all year long. Look at his attributes:

• Omniscient - See all that you do
• Omnipresent - or can be everywhere in one night
• Answers sincere petitions
• Gives you good gifts
• Rewards good behavior
• Famous "guy in the sky"

The point is to a child the characteristics of Santa seem very similar to the characteristics of God and they may not be able to make the distinction between God-attributes and Santa-attributes. Suddenly the child thinks God judges us and blesses us based on our performance rather than out of the grace we have through the glorification of Christ at his death and resurrection.

Common Objections

1) But Zach, Santa is good for kid's imaginative development. I agree that Santa-like figures may have the ability to make a child's imagination run wild with fantastic ideas and adventures. This is great. My question to you would be: what's wrong with my kids imagination the rest of the year? We don't talk about Santa any time during the year except December. (If you are the exception to that statement then you are probably using Santa as a bargaining tool to get your kids to behave and that is just wrong.) All year long children play with imaginary friends and dream up awesome adventures. They don't loose this ability because its Christmas.

2) But Zach, Santa represents love you say again with growing disdain. Perhaps this is true if that's what you have taught your children but couldn't we simply explain that God is love and he became flesh to prove it? And couldn't we say that we give gifts to show others how much we love them and to reflect that same love? Don't tell me explaining how a fat guy with reindeer can go to every house in the world in a single day is easier than telling your kids simply God loves us and this is one way we celebrate.

3) But Zach, don't you know the real story of "Santa" or "St. Nick"? I know the story of St. Nicholas and that's great but he is no longer the Santa that "visits" your children, he hasn't been for a very long time. Your children's Santa is a rewarder of works with high priced gadgets and gizmos that make them either boast to their friends about what they got or be disappointed it wasn't enough. The latter was my reaction until I out grew Santa. If Santa could give me what ever I wanted, why didn't he? Was I not good enough? Did he not like me? Knowing that my parents are the ones that buy gifts makes my expectations much more reasonable. I know my parents love me, they show me all year long, but I also know that money doesn't grow on trees because they tell me all year long.

I hope you establish some awesome traditions with your family and friends.

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree...

You got to see a picture of our Christmas tree in my Thanksgiving post, and I mentioned that this was our first Christmas tree. See, when we lived in the apartment we didn't want to purchase decorations or a tree since we wouldn't be home much over Christmas and we didn't know what we would want for our house. And last year we decorated a tad bit for Christmas, but still no tree since we were planning on visiting our parents for 2 weeks. So this was our first tree, AND the first time Ellie really knew what was going on.... so I really wanted to catch her reaction on video. We decorated after she went to bed, and then took this video when she woke up the next morning. (Take note of how I sound like I'm not awake, but Ellie is in a great mood. She definitely is a morning girl.):



p.s. Don't I have an awesome hubby?

What a Woman

Over the past three years I have noticed significant change in my wife. When I married her I knew she was beautiful, loving, generous, and family oriented but at that time I had neither fully experienced those characteristics nor grasped their depth. Today I would add patient, theologically minded, frugal (a good thing) and more knowledgeable of my self than I am.

I want to address each of those new characteristics one by one.

First - Patient. If you were to ask Laura’s siblings or parents to pick one word [or even ten words] to describer her, patient would never have been one of them. If you ask me, it’s in the top three now. This is not a general patience in the sense that she can handle a minor annoyance for a short period of time. This is an enduring strength that wanes very slowly and isn’t angered easily. I’m not going to digress into self deprecation but she does put up with a lot of my faults. I don’t know how many times we have talked about love languages and how I can make her feel special on a day to day basis but my actions inevitably show that I have completely forgotten or temporarily misplaced my memory of those conversations so after an extended period of time she reminds me and we start over again. She really embodies what a grace based marriage looks like so I added that to the list of reasons why I love her.

Second – Theologically Minded. Laura was saved as a child and to my knowledge she has never questioned those beliefs. This wasn’t the case for me. Because of this difference, theology didn’t really interest her a great deal…until about a year ago. I think the major change happened while we were regularly having some Mormon missionaries into our house to discuss what it means to have a relationship with Christ. During these six or eight weeks Laura started to notice that a few nuances in theological wording make a big difference. Those theological issues that we addressed like the trinity, baptism, the person of Christ, and the extent and nature of the atonement are what differentiate Christianity from other heresies. I have noticed since then a new and sustained interest in theology. Since then we have talked off and on about the trinity, she reads Al Mohler’s blog (very sexy, her reading the blog not Al Mohler), and she is reading specifically about theology and women. I didn’t marry and average woman, she goes above and beyond in everything she does. One day I caught her reading Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology in bed, nothing turns me on more than my wife in bed with a thick book on reformed theology.

Third – Frugal. The woman can shop. I mean that in a good way. Laura and I are convinced that it is both biblical and best for her to stay at home with our children but this occasionally creates some financial strains. To make sure that we can still put food on the table, give generously, and not go crazy Laura started using coupons when she goes to the grocery store. That task is much more difficult that it sounds if you want to really save some money. She generally spends a few hours a week planning, cutting, and organizing coupons to save the most money possible. I don’t know the exact numbers but she typically saves us 25%-50% of what we would have been spending had she not taken on that responsibility. I can’t help but think of Proverbs 31 when I see how she plans and stewards our finances like this so we can buy some new clothes for the kids or so I can buy a cup of coffee every now and then. She is far more precious than jewels and my heart trusts in her because she does me good all the days of my life.

Fourth – She Knows Me Better Than I Do. This is scary. Really, it’s freaky. I will be trying to make a decision about something and Laura will know not only what I am going to do but what my thought process is. If Laura is buying me something it doesn’t take her long to know exactly what to get me and to be fully confident that I will love it. She knows me perfectly and is always thinking about what I would and would not like. She does this when it comes to buying clothes, decorating the house but appreciate this the most when it comes to cooking. I can be a little picky sometimes but I can’t think of a time where Laura has tried a new recipe that I really didn’t like. That because, like I said, she is always thinking about me.

As we get ready to have our second child I’m so thankful for a wife who is dedicated to our children and to me. I’m so thankful for a wife who is patient. I’m so thankful for a wife who loves God and I am so thankful for a wife who loves me.

37 weeks

No picture of the belly this week, I know you're sad, but I did want to give you an update! Last week I went to the doctor and got my Strep B test, was checked for dilation and position, was measured, and of course got to hear Ainsley's precious little heart beat! So what did the doctor say?? Well I am 2cm dilated, and Ainsley's head is down and is in the -2 position (-3 is where they start and +2 is when her head will be crowning during delivery)! Very exciting, although we still have no idea when she is coming this at least means we're getting ready for the big day.

Today I had another appointment and I found out today at the doctor that the test came back negative, which is nice b/c I don't have to worry about receiving the antibiotic for it. We didn't check for dilation or position (except to still make sure her head is down), we'll do that next week. Yea nothing exciting to report, but of course I'm always excited to get to hear her heartbeat (which sounded great).

So how am I feeling? Right now, extremely yucky. I still am fighting this cold/virus, however since it's been 2 weeks of me coughing, the doctor did put be on an antibiotic. Hopefully I'll get better soon! I definitely would prefer Ainsley to not come now because I want to be healthy before I start labor. I'm really exhausted, yet my body doesn't want to let me sleep... so I just try to rest when I'm not chasing a toddler around, or cooking, or cleaning, or whatever else might come up. BUT I do have my bag somewhat packed, Ainsley's clothes washed, newborn diapers, the house decorated for Christmas, most of the Christmas shopping done, even most of the presents wrapped and under the tree! It definitely is a crazy time of the year to have a baby, but also a very fun time to welcome one into this world. Zach and I love Christmas time and hope that we will cherish every moment this December. Now the waiting game... the countdown begins! Be praying for us...

Our first Christmas tree:

Thanksgiving

Delicious turkey by my mom:
It was great visiting family one last time before baby Ainsley arrives. We are so thankful to have such a loving family, people who will always be there. This year I am thankful for many things, the Lord continually blesses us. Not only am I thankful for the wonderful things such as God's grace, a wonderful husband, a sweet and healthy little girl, family, friends, church, and a house.... I'm also thankful for the "not-so-good" things. Such as the sleepless nights (bc it only means that I get to experience this wonderful thing called pregnancy and hopefully bring another precious little girl into this world), the forceful and continuous movement of my baby (bc this means she is healthy and alive), the arguments with my husband (bc it means I have a husband, one who desires intimacy and a better relationship like I do), an eternal mess (I spend all day picking up after my family, but this means I have a family and teaches me to just let things be a mess sometimes), and then lastly (although I could go on) I am thankful for the empty checking account (bc I have learned what is valuable and one of those things is kids... which is why my bank account is empty in the first place).

I'm truly thankful for everything, even though sometimes I might not act like it. I don't deserve anything, but for some reason the Lord continues to give. So although this post is a little late after Thanksgiving, I hope that you too will be thankful for every moment.

We had a very busy Thanksgiving Day. We first had lunch at Aunt Kay's house with all of Zach's mom's family, then went to Uncle Kevin's late afternoon to hang out with Zach's dad's family. We ended the weekend celebrating Thanksgiving with my family with an amazing dinner, cooked all by my mom, on Saturday. We didn't capture many pictures of the family, but we did get a few of Ellie and some cousins:

Ellie with her 3 cousins

Ellie playing the Rock Band drums at Uncle Kevin's house, she definitely is a big fan of drums!

Ellie fell in love with these tigger shoes, these are the only shoes she'll actually keep on!