"Soul of Modesty"

1 Timothy 2:9
"...women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control..."

Yesterday I listened to a sermon by CJ Mahaney on modesty. This subject is something that is difficult to face, especially in a culture where the motive of fashion designers is sensual provocation. What led me to this sermon was a survey on modesty (you can look at the survey results by clicking on the link). This survey first asked women to send in their questions and then Christian men answered the questions. Some women, specifically young women, are ingnorant on this topic. They don't understand or know the war against lust for men and the effect of our bodies on the mind of men. I felt like I had somewhat of an understanding but I was alarmed by some of the responses and felt like it meant I should just wear a cloak. However I knew this was NOT an option and it made me a little frustrated (can men not just stop thinking??). Why do we have to sacrifice because of men and their sinfulness?

WOW... was I being selfish or what?! While listening to the sermon I was very convicted about this topic. Mahaney began and primarily focused on the intention of the heart. What really struck me was the question, "What motivates your shopping and purchase of clothes?" Was my motivation to show grace and beauty of womanhood, to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshipping God OR was it to call attention to myself and flaunt my beauty, or to attempt to allure men sexually(in this case I would only want to allure my husband... but wearing the same thing in public would allure other men)? I can't tell you what my motive officially was... but I can tell you I was NOT ever thinking about how the way I dressed reflected my heart. My wardrobe is the statement of my personal and private motivation, and I feel that most of the time I'm shopping to impress others or get positive attention and not to show my humble heart.

Most of us know that modesty is the avoidance of clothing and adornment that is extravagant, showy, revealing or sexually inticing, but Mahaney described modesty as humility expressed in dress, a desire to serve others (specifically men). This definitely changed my mind set. I should be humble as Christ was humble, I need to stop thinking selfishly and serve others, not myself. I still can look cute and stylish, but my motivation while shopping isn't to impress others but to display my beauty humbly as one who is devoted to God. Therefore as a result of this conviction I will be more intentional about evaluating my motives while shopping and I will definitely be going through my wardrobe and tossing out some items...

I thought I would share what I have learned and also challenge those Christian women who read this blog. Some questions that Mahaney posed to help realize where your heart is on this subject of modesty are:
-What statement do your clothes make about your heart?
-Is your shopping and purchase of clothes informed and governed by modesty and self-control? (i.e. Do you take God to The Gap?)
-Whose attention do you desire and whose approval do you crave?
-What statement is your hair and attire making?
-Who inspires your dress, biblical women or Halle Berry?

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New Twitter Gadget

You guys may notice that there may be some fairly odd changes to the right side of our blog. This is a new feature we added called Twitter. Twitter is one of the hundreds of social networking technologies that have become really popular over the last couple of months. Basically, Twitter is a a way to send short updates or thoughts throughout the day. Twitter users can follower other twitter users and we have added a feed so that anyone can view out "tweets" from our blog without having to register on Twitter.com

Friendship in the Making

Tonight we captured only the beginning of the friendship between Ellie and Hannah Hamaker (a 2 year old from our church small group):



Ellie wasn't quite used to spending time with 2 year olds, so this is how it ended:

Good To Be Home

This past week Ellie and I went to Winston-Salem/Kernersville to help Zach's grandmother after having knee surgery. It was great to be with family, but with Ellie teething it did get rough at times. One morning I decided to get up and make muffins but Ellie would not let me out of her sight without screaming. Therefore I ended up making muffins with Ellie on my hip... that definitely made me feel like a housewife.

We got some great quality time with Gigi (Zach's grandmother), Grandma T (Zach's mom), and Nana (my mom). Grandma T took Ellie shopping and got Ellie her new favorite toy, a worm that plays music. It is so much fun to watch her while the toy plays music, she bounces with the beat... love it :) Ellie also has gotten the cutest outfits I have ever seen this week. One is a beautiful sweaterdress from BabyGap Nana spent many days trying to complete, and the other is an adorable shirt, jeans, and sparkly shoes from Grandma T. I will definitely post some pictures of these as soon as I capture them... you probably haven't seen anything cuter than Ellie in these outfits (I know I haven't)!

It sure is great to be back home in Raleigh though... but don't worry grandparents, we will back next week for Thanksgiving!

Green Beans

Ellie tried green beans... we received the funniest reaction ever. You must watch:

"We Don't Live for Politics"

Occasionally this thought comes across my mind, 'What is going to happen to our country once the new president takes over, is our country going to survive?' However, there is no need to worry because my confidence in the future does not rely on our future president... but in Christ. John Piper helped me come to this conclusion in this clip from his website desiringGod.org:

WE VOTED!

Zach and I voted early and luckily missed any lines! It felt good to get the vote behind us, but I'm not looking forward to the result. I'm not very excited about either presidential candidate, but am excited not to see any more campaign ads!

So we got a few shots of Ellie's first voting experience:


As you can tell, she wasn't very happy either about the election... but she was happy about getting a 'I voted' sticker:

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Ellie's Dedication

Yesterday, Zach and I were commissioned as parents to raise our little Ellie in a God-centered home and show her the ways of the Lord. This is such a huge role we have and one that should not be taken lightly. Our prayer is that we will continually delight in the Lord so that we can represent Christ to Ellie through the overflow of our hearts. In Deuteronomy 6:5-9, God commands us:
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."

We pray that we will listen to this command he gives us. Ellie is a gift from God, she is HIS child... and we are so thankful to be given this opportunity to raise her and love her. We want Christ to be the leader of her life and we only want to be the ones who direct her to her true Father.

Our pastor, J.D. Greear shared with us his thoughts about this role we have been given...
"Our culture teaches us to give our kids experiences. God's Word teaches us to give them relationships. Your relationship with your child will be the most formative influence on their character. And it is their character that will determine their destiny. So don't let anyone or anything raise your children or influence your children more than you do. That means TV, media, games, friends, school systems, government or any other force. You shape them. You love them. You spend time with them. The greatest gift you can leave your children is not an inheritance of material things, but an inheritance of time invested in them over their lifetime."

Wow... what a HUGE role we have. What truth is in J.D.'s statement... we must remember this daily. Zach and I ask that you will pray for us and be partners with us as we take this role as parents. We know that we won't be able to conquer this without prayer.

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Our Reformed Tradition

Today, October 31st, we not only celebrate Halloween but also the Reformation. 451 years ago today Martin Luther nailed his 95 thesis to the Castle Church door in Wittenburg. This may seem like an insignificant event to us today but a quick glance at history shows us how monumental an event this really was. Because of the Reformation we no longer have to pay indulgences to obtain forgiveness of our sins, we have freedom to read the written Word of God in our own language, and it produced some of our greatest church fathers (Martin Luther, John Calvin, John Knox).

The first of the 95 thesis is incredibly poignant:

Our Lord and Master Jesus Christ, when He said Poenitentiam agite [Repent Ye], willed that the whole life of believers should be repentance.

Tim Keller writes about this:

On the surface this looks a little bleak! Luther seems to be saying Christians will never be making much progress. But of course that wasn't Luther's point at all. He was saying that repentance is the way we make progress in the Christian life. Indeed, pervasive, all-of-life repentance is the best sign that we are growing deeply and rapidly into the character of Jesus.

He continues:

But in the gospel the purpose of repentance is to repeatedly tap into the joy of our union with Christ in order to weaken our need to do anything contrary to God’s heart.

Be encouraged then, fellow believer. In calling you to daily repentance, the Lord Jesus is not simply giving you good advice. He is saying, "If you are a child of mine, you must continue to repent."

Many doctrines have deep roots in the Reformation but I think John Calvin's explanation of our salvation and the role we play in God's glorification is one of the most Biblically sound and fundamentally important in Church history. Here Calvin makes no attempt to obfuscate what could potentially be controversial because he has grasped the heart of the issue of our salvation; We have salvation through our faith in God's gracious sacrifice of Christ and his resurrection as propitiation for the purpose of His own glory. Below is a summary of what Calvin said.

Total Depravity - Sin has affected all parts of man. The heart, emotions, will, mind, and body are all affected by sin. We are completely sinful. We are not as sinful as we could be, but we are completely affected by sin and as a result separated from God.(Rom 3:9-18, Ephesians 2:1, 3,15, Rom. 6:6,14-20, 2 Tim. 2:26, Mark 7:21-23)

Unconditional Election - God does not base His election on anything He sees in the individual. He chooses the elect according to the kind intention of His will without any consideration of merit within the individual. Nor does God look into the future to see who would pick Him. Also, as some are elected into salvation, others are not. (Rom. 8-28-33, Ephesians 1:4-8, Rom 9:9-11, Rom 9:15,21)

Limited Atonement - This is concerned with the question of what did Christ do on the cross. It was there that he redeemed, justified, reconciled, and atoned for His chosen people. The debate on this issue is over the extent of the atonement. Did Christ die for all people, or just a few? If it is for all then the efficacy and efficiency of the cross is limited. If it is for a select people, then Jesus Christ’s death actually saves. This point is closely connected with the Reformation’s War Cry, “We are justified by faith alone!” (Matt 26:28, John 17:9, John 11:51-52, Rev 5:9, John 10:16, Hebrews 9:28)

Irresistible Grace - When God calls his elect into salvation, they cannot resist. God offers to all people the gospel message. This is called the external call. But to the elect, God extends an internal call and it cannot be resisted. This call is by the Holy Spirit who works in the hearts and minds of the elect to bring them to repentance and regeneration whereby they willingly and freely come to God. (Rom. 9:19-21, John 6:64-65, John 6:65, 1 Corinth. 1:23-24)

Perseverance of the Saints - You cannot lose your salvation. Because the Father has elected, the Son has redeemed, and the Holy Spirit has applied salvation, those thus saved are eternally secure. They are eternally secure in Christ. (John 6:47, Rom. 8:1, John 10:27-28, 1 Corinth. 10:13, Phil. 1:6)

Happy Halloween!

Ellie dressed up as tigger... Zach and I dressed up as, well, ourselves. Ellie was definitely the cutest tigger around. We went around our cul-de-sac to show her off. Here are some pictures:

(Notice the nice carved pumpkins)

(Some of our cute neighbors)

New Title

We are thinking about a new Blog title...something a little more interesting...we are taking input from our readers...winner get the laudable and auspicious prize of being given credit in our next post.

Happy Birthday, Jerk

This has absolutely nothing to do with me, my family or anything I remotely care about but it is absolutely the funniest commentary on what I noticed as I approached graduation in college. Perhaps its humor is a result of what is a rarely commented on yet ALWAYS noticed phenomenon.

"There are three approaches to ordering at a birthday dinner. I actually didn't know that the first approach was possible until this particular outing. Early in the evening, I noticed Simon's friend Justin, a legendarily frugal graduate student, engage our waiter in an extended colloquy. After dinner, I sidled up to Justin to complain about the exorbitant bill, knowing my outrage would fall on sympathetic ears. Instead, he flashed a wicked grin and revealed that he had "seceded from the check, Jefferson Davis-style." That is, having realized things were getting out of hand, he had worked out an understanding with the waiter whereby he would order on a separate tab that would include only his appetizer, entrée, and beverages. It was a brilliant stroke, though it required Justin's unabashed cheapskatedness, which, like his taste in metaphor, is rare indeed.

On to the more subtle approaches. The first is to order as inexpensively as possible, in an attempt to foster a norm of fiscal conservatism at the table. This strategy is rarely successful. You order a house salad and the chicken and roll the dice that the guy next to you will feel too embarrassed to order an entrée called "steak for two." Such restraint cannot be counted on in a large, salary-diverse group.

The other approach, the one I favor, is to order offensively. Your typical birthday dinner is around 10 guests strong. Given a group of this size, you can safely assume there will not be an itemized accounting of who ordered what come bill-paying time—it requires too much math and is usually adjudged to be not in keeping with the celebratory nature of the event. Armed with this knowledge, the only way to order is with abandon. If I'm going to be subsidizing the sybaritic corporate lawyer at the end of the table (who, I happen to know, wouldn't think of ordering a beer unless it was brewed by a Trappist monk), you'd better believe he's going to be paying for a tract of my baked Alaska.

I developed this system after too many birthday dinners where I went home poor and hungry. This way, at least, you get the food you want. But the victory is pyrrhic. Tradition holds that the birthday boy make a perfunctory swipe at the check before it's whisked from his grasp. In the case of Simon's party, not only was the man of honor off the hook for his portion of the bill, but at the suggestion of a chivalrous spendthrift who I'd have kicked in the shin had the table not been so vast, the group exempted Simon's girlfriend as well, since she'd undertaken the arduous task of sending out the Evite. A check that would have been a hardship split 12 ways now was to be split by 10.

Simon is one of my oldest and dearest friends; I like to think I'd do just about anything for him. But sitting here looking at a charge for $168.51, I find myself wondering how good a friend he really is. $168.51! Do you know how many Uno's individual deep-dish Spinoccolis that would buy? Seventeen. That's two-plus weeks of dinner.

In a way, though, it is I who owe Simon. The piles of jumbo shrimp floating on seas of melted ice; the untouched beds of creamed spinach; the endless rounds of marked-up Beck's Dark—they flash before me now whenever a birthday dinner invitation comes my way, and I can't bring myself to RSVP yes. The excesses of Simon's dinner were what I needed to find the social gumption to swear off such affairs entirely. Throwing a party for your birthday? I'll gladly attend the festivities. Point me to the bowling shoes and buy me a few frames. Cook me dinner—I'll bring the Taboo. Otherwise, see you next year, pal."

6 Month Check Up

Ellie went to the doctor on Wednesday for her check-up. She weighed in at 16 lbs. 4 oz. (50 percentile), measured 25 in. long (20 percentile), and was in the 70 percentile for her head circumference. So it looks like we have a baby that is short but smart since her head's so big! Everything checked out well and she received all her immunizations plus a flu shot! The poor thing had 4 shots in her legs and one oral immunization. She does very well and stops crying as soon as I pick her up. We are so blessed to have such a healthy baby, I don't think we realize that enough.

Here are some extremely cute videos of Ellie:

This first one is me walking in on her while she plays this game with herself. What she does is pulls the blanket over her head and pulls it back down, it's basically playing peek-a-boo with herself! Of course she gets distracted by the camera, but I get some giggles and coos out of her:



This next video is of Ellie eating something she doesn't like. I have so much fun feeding her because she gets the funniest expressions on her face. In this video I had prepared just plain oatmeal and she did not like it! Watch how funny she is:


And a picture I caught of the same thing:

Ravens and Sparrows and Lillies Oh My

Right now im at Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson Internation Airport sitting on a wooden bench which im sure will be the source of many years of back pain to come. Two benches over I overheard a middle aged gentleman ranting about the failures of the government to do its job and protect the American people, this was because year-to-date his 401k was down 31%. "How am I supposed to retire at 65 in this market? I'm going be working until I can't walk. I swear if this doesn't turn around soon we are moving to Canada" the man explained very loudly to whom I assume was his wife.

Last night, not coincidentally, I read Luke 12 and Matthew 6 and today I also read what is a phenomenally well written critique of John Piper's book Future Grace, both of which address the issue the guy beside me and millions of other people are dealing with right now. Luke 12:24-24 says:

Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither store-house nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?

In Piper's book, from what I understand b/c I haven't actually read it, he makes the case that anxiety will practically do nothing for you and he makes the argument, over several chapters, that we need to have faith in future grace rather than merely reflecting on the past and taking an indebted posture towards God. Piper explains that it is an affront to God feel like we owe Him something while not having faith in His grace to come. This would be tantamount to receiving a new car from your parents for Christmas and handing them a few bucks because you wanted to show your appreciation...it lacks a true understanding of what a gift, in the case of your parents, and what grace, in the God's case, truly means. Don't be confused, we DO owe Christ our lives because they were purchased for a price (1 Corinthians 6:20), but fundamentally our anxiousness says that we don't trust God to provide for us. It is in fact a type of unbelief. I'm not throwing condemnation around; I'm just trying to say (as Piper has already) that when we reflect on the workings of God in our life the best way to respond is not to feel indebted but rather to continue to have faith that the same grace we see in our past is also in our future.

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Ellie's Half Birthday

Ellie is 6 months old! I cannot believe how fast time is flying. One special thing about Ellie's half birthday is that she shares it with her uncle's birthday! So we didn't celebrate her half birthday but we did celebrate Charles' birthday at Longhorn on Saturday. Ellie had a late night, but did extremely well! We haven't had her 6 month check up yet... so I'll update you on her stats later.

The real big news is that Ellie's first tooth is finally coming in! After several months of non-stop drooling, she has seized to drool obsessively and has broken her first tooth! The tip of her bottom left tooth is now cutting through. She never had a fever or seemed very ill. The worst part was just the drooling. I'm glad the end of the first teething experience is finally over, and if this is the worst of the many more teeth to come... I think I have it extremely easy!

Of course I have to leave you with some pictures:
Ellie got a hold of the camera:


Ellie is now spending more time on her tummy, occasionally. She still is only rolling over from front to back and I don't know if she ever will have a desire to go to her stomach. I know she could roll from back to front because she rolls to her side to get a toy all the time... only time will tell. Here is a shot I got of her on her belly (notice the drool):

And the best for last...

She's the cutest thing ever!

Yard Work

Zach and I (with the help of my parents) have finally finished our yard work for the Fall! FINALLY!
Here are the before shots:




Everything you see in these pictures are gone (except the oak tree in the middle of the yard)!
We have dug up everything in the front of our house and have planted bushes and plants we like! One thing we are extremely proud of is getting rid of this (not Kayla, the thing behind her!):

This is overgrown holly bushes and leftovers from a deck that was torn down long ago. We absolutely hated this thing and are so glad it is gone!
We also sewed grass seed and will hopefully see some grass in our yard instead of dirt! This makeover has taken up many of our weekends, but we are finally done! I will get you some after shots when the grass comes up... so look for them later!

On Politics...

You probably have never heard me talk much about politics because I never really have been interested in them, until West Wing. Zach absolutely loves the TV series West Wing, so of course I had to watch it, and I ended up enjoying it as well. This show definitely taught me more about politics and increased my interest in political candidates.

So now more than ever, with the election approaching, I thought it appropriate to share some of my political opinions about some certain issues. (I bet Zach will have a lot more to say, especially when he realizes I have posted about this issue.)

I was eating lunch with a new friend of mine, Ashley, and we were talking about a political conversation she had with a few of her friends. She said she had a fundamental issue with Barack Obama because of his support on partial-birth abortions. Just to remind you, a partial birth abortion is an abortion that occurs while the baby is being born. They turn the baby around and then suck out it's brains to kill the child. Everytime I think about this it makes me extremely sad that a innocent child is killed and extremely angry that someone would actually agree to do this. Now I know that this is probably a hard decision that the mother and doctors made and they probably didn't do so lightly, but they did come to the conclusion to abort. Now back to Obama... he actually thinks this is not so much a problem and he trusts women to make the decision. This is the exact quote from the Democratic Primary Debate in South Carolina:
"Q: What us your view on the decision on partial-birth abortion and your reaction to most of the public agreeing with the court's holding?

A: I think that most Americans recognize that this is a profoundly difficult issue for the women and families who make these decisions. They don't make them casually. And I trust women to make these decisions in conjunction with their doctors and their families and their clergy. And I think that's where most Americans are. Now, when you describe a specific procedure that accounts for less than 1% of the abortions that take place, then naturally, people get concerned, and I think legitimately so. But the broader issue here is: Do women have the right to make these profoundly difficult decisions? And I trust them to do it. There is a broader issue: Can we move past some of the debates around which we disagree and can we start talking about the things we do agree on? Reducing teen pregnancy; making it less likely for women to find themselves in these circumstances"(www.ontheissues.org)

This logic just doesn't make sense. Can we really trust people to make the right decisions about life and death? If we had this logic, why do we have laws? Why is there a justice system? Could we not handle this a different way... such as making the adoption process easy for a mother?

I don't expect the next president to be able to change the law about abortion, but I do want the next president to have morals and values that will make this country a better place...
There are many other issues I have, but I'll leave it with that for now.

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Squash... Yuck!

Ellie was introduced to acorn squash this past weekend. Her first reaction to it was quite normal:



The next day, my sister Carla came over to babysit and tried to give her some squash... however that was a disaster! Ellie would eat it, but would cry after it was put into her mouth. We were confused at first if she was just in a fussy mood or if she didn't like it. Well, I tried to give it to her again tonight and got the same reaction! I hope this isn't the beginning of refusing to eat her vegetables!

A Day in the Life of Ellie

So Ellie and I have been having some great, long quality time since Zach has been out of town during the week, and she hasn't been sleeping as much. I thought I would share a typical day for Ellie and I. Ellie usually wakes up around 8am, eats and then plays in her exersaucer for a little while. After about an hour and a half she is ready for a nap, so between 9:30-10 I feed her and put her down and she sleeps until 12-12:30. She then wakes up, eats and we either run errands, play together, read, or do anything we can think of. Here is a video of what she commonly does during the afternoon:

At about 2pm, she gets very unhappy. So typically we go on a walk if it's not raining! I think this is definitely Ellie's and Kayla's favorite part of the day (the walk that is). Between 3:30-4, I feed her again and put her back down for another nap. This is perfect since I tutor from 4-5 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. She usually sleeps until 5 or 6pm, and then I feed her again. If Zach is home, this is when he spends time with Ellie and when I cook dinner. It all depends on Ellie's mood what we do, sometimes we will just play together with random toys or she will play in her exersaucer or on the floor. Here she is having some fun in her exersaucer:

Around 7pm we give Ellie some solids. She absolutely LOVES this part of the day, I think I might have to start feeding her solids in the afternoon too because whenever we eat lunch or even breakfast she is wanting some food of her own! She doesn't last very long after we feed her, so we start getting her ready for bed. We put her in her sleeper, nurse her, and then read her "Goodnight Moon" (This is Zach's responsibility when he's in town). She is very happy at bedtime and sometimes it's hard for us to leave her, but she never cries for us and is asleep usually by 8pm! We have it so easy!

Wedding Fun!

The wedding is over and now I can finally rest at home on the weekends :) My friends Jessie and Daniel had a beautiful outdoor wedding on Lake Badin. It was raining all weekend, but it just happened on Saturday at Badin Lake, there was no rain! So it ended up being perfect weather! My mom and Zach took care of Ellie while I was doing all the wedding festivities, but I did get a few moments with her on Saturday morning and at the reception. Here are some pictures from the wedding:
Here is the bride and groom in their first dance as husband and wife:

Zach and I and the back of Ellie's head:

Nana and not too happy Ellie:

Papa trying to make Ellie happy:

A good shot at my hairdo, which I loved: