Cute as a button :)

Ellie is now 6 weeks old! She is definitely more aware of her environment and she loves to look around. She still is keeping mom and dad up at night, but we are excited that she has dropped her 2am feeding the past two nights... going 5 hours between the 11pm feeding and the 4am feeding, which means we get to sleep 4 hours straight! It's crazy how excited you get about sleeping only four hours.

This past week I went home for a few days to spend some quality time with my mom, especially since she hasn't stayed with us at all since Ellie was born. It was so nice to get some help from her, and I know she loved spending some time with Ellie. The picture to the left shows Kayla looking after Ellie on the drive to Winston, what a fabulous dog we have!
We went to a boutique baby store in Winston-Salem called Gazoodles and purchased a little pink bow. I just had to get on here to post a picture of her in it. She is just too cute... nobody better ask us now if she is a boy or girl!

P.S. I created a new album on facebook, you can go to it using this url: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2199121&l=fe33f&id=11802813
I also updated the album with some new photos: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2196073&l=41bbb&id=11802813

Ellie Action

Today Ellie went to her first wedding! Our friends Andrew Felton and Melissa Roberson exchanged vows in Rocky Mount, NC. It was such a beautiful wedding on a perfect day! Although we had a rough night last night (Ellie woke up at 3am and didn't want to go back to sleep... we even tried the vacuum but it didn't last long), we enjoyed getting to see our friends. We didn't take any pictures (I know we are terrible!), but to make up for it here are a few videos we have taken of Ellie that I thought some of you might enjoy seeing, especially those who don't get to see her much!
This first video is of Zach with Ellie at 2 weeks:


The video below is just of her doing some mouth action at 4 weeks:


Here is Ellie with the hiccups:



Also for those that haven't seen pictures, I have a few albums on facebook that anyone can see by following these links:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2189960&l=65e8a&id=11802813
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2196073&l=41bbb&id=11802813

Why "Marriage" Matters

Today it was released that the California State Supreme Court ruled in favor to strike down Proposition 22 which defines marriage as between one man and one woman.

As discussed below, upon review of the numerous California decisions that have examined the underlying bases and significance of the constitutional right to marry, we conclude that, under this state’s Constitution, the constitutionally based right to marry properly must be understood to encompass the core set of basic substantive legal rights and attributes traditionally associated with marriage that are so integral to an individual’s liberty and personal autonomy that they may not be eliminated or abrogated by the Legislature or by the electorate through the statutory initiative process. These core substantive rights include, most fundamentally, the opportunity of an individual to establish — with the person with whom the individual has chosen to share his or her life — an officially recognized and protected family possessing mutual rights and responsibilities and entitled to the same respect and dignity accorded a union traditionally designated as marriage.
- California Supreme Court Chief Justice J. Kennard

At the risk of sounding like a religiously political zealot I think the issue is important enough to elicit a response from my family. This response was greatly formed by texts, sermons, and interviews of J.D. Greear, Robert P. George, Al Mohler, and Norman Geisler.

It is import to clearly understand both the legal extent of the ruling as well as its broader implications.

First, this ruling states that it is an individuals fundamental human right to establish an officially recognized and protected family with the same rights as traditionally married couples and families. The ruling does NOT attempt to define or restrict that family in any way but rather states that an individuals sexual preference should be considered, along with race, nationality, and gender, a suspect classification eliciting explicit protection.

Second, this ruling does NOT state how this "officially recognized and protected family" should be classified (i.e. Homosexual "marriage" as Marriage or Civil Union).

Therefore, if there is not an appeal within 30 days, San Fransisco County California will have to start issuing marriage license to non-traditional couples. The overall spirit of the ruling is to protect and ensure equal benefits (e.g. tax status, medical/insurance claims, etc.) typically limited to traditional marriages to individuals who desire non-traditional marriages.

There are numerous concerns with not only this ruling but rulings of this nature. I CANNOT stress enough my desire to represent the gospel by showing respect and love to individuals who would benefit from this ruling BUT I have so many concerns, both religious and pragmatic, with this decision.

Let me say this: from a Christian perspective the benefits of marriage are inherent in the covenant its self not in financial or legal standing granted by the State therefore I am in total support of granting those same State issued benefits to every individual. To clarify, I mean that the virtue of marriage is that it honors God, represents our relationship with Christ, and facilitates ministry by defining roles and responsibilities based on the natural ordering of society. A Christian marries for these purposes not legal or financial standing so it would be inconsistent with our faith to try to limit the classification of marriage for these purposes.

My concerns:

First, marriage in every state is regulated. Many states restrict the marrying of close relatives or even the marriage of those people with certain STD's. My point is that I think it is extremely irresponsible of the California court to not be more specific with its definition of "officially recognized and protected family." The implication of making undefined sexual orientation a suspect classification and fundamental right means that the government has to present an extremely convincing argument or compelling evidence in order to make any regulatory changes or restrictions to any associated fundamental right. Whose to say my sexual orientation can't include partnering with multiple partners?

Second, the implications of this decision are far reaching. Beyond the court room and even beyond California we will see effects this decision if it is not countered. As stated by Maggie Gallagher, culture consists of words and ideas and images and categories. By broadening the definition of "marriage" to an undefined point so as to avoid the appearance of condoning a relatively new social impropriety is actually infringing on the ability of traditional parents to educate their children as to what Biblical marriage looks like. Our ability is not gone but our word will soon be taken because we won't be able to compete with the definition society is giving them. The definition of husband will no longer mean what it has traditional meant, a wife will no longer be a wife, a mother a mother, a father a father, or parents parents. These words will mean new things. Words are important, the world can change or not because of words.

Third, by elevating sexual orientation to the status of suspect classification, those who hold a traditional view of marriage are placed on the same level as hate mongers, racists, and xenophobes. Homosexuality, until the 20th century with the exception of specific Roman and Greek instances, has been considered a social perversion. With the advent of organizations like the ACLU and individuals like Christopher Hitchens, Daniel Dennet, and Richard Dawkins who fight for "individuals rights" have eroded away social structure to the point that those holding traditional, conservative, Biblical views are not expressing individual opinions but promulgating inferior, archaic, and morally inferior beliefs. The have not added to the progression of society but rather its digression.

Fourth, I agree completely with the courts dissenting opinion that the majorities opinion is founded upon rationale that has questionable constitutionality. A major piece of the reasoning for the courts decision is based on the current status of gays and lesbians as well as the Legislature's trend in passing more progressive civil rights protections and thereby in effect, "
the majority gives the Legislature indirectly power that body does not directly possess to amend the Constitution and repeal an initiative statute" (J. Baxter, Associate Justice California Supreme Court Justice). Further, "the People, directly or through their elected representatives, have every right to adopt laws abrogating the historic understanding that civil marriage is between a man and a woman." The ruling equates to a judicial fiat justified by a quickly changing society.

Finally, the government needs traditional families because these families produce what is needed for gov't to properly function - "upright, decent people who make honest, law-abiding, public-spirited citizens" (Robert P. George, "First Things", Jan. 08). No marriage is perfect, not even Christian marriage. In fact Christians who marry are exactly as likely to get divorced as non-Christians in America but children are well nourished spiritually, emotionally, and physically under the care of a mother and father. When these traditional families fail to form both parent and child often become unstable. Absentee father become a serious problem, out-of-wedlock births become more frequent, and many other well documented social pathologies follow including an inability to form emotional connections, inability to maintain monogamous relationships, disrespect of authority, and apathy towards expected responsibilities.

I value the collision of varying ideas and perspectives because it facilitates vigorous debate about important issues, however, as Isaiah Berlin thought, the person is dynamic blend of body, mind, and spirit. The ability to only spiritually and emotionally come together does not represent a complete unity of persons. Marriage represents this unity and can only be accomplished by one man and one woman because it is founded upon physical oneness that is procreative in nature, regardless of effect, and facilitates the unification of rest of the persons into "one flesh."

Legislating against "gay marriage" will neither alleviate homosexuality nor the joining of homosexuals couples in a marriage-like relationship and we shouldn't expect it to. Legislating against "gay marriage" will however sustain the value of that traditional view which has been the central unit of family for thousands of years for future generations.

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We Survived the First Month!

The days seem so long but it goes by so fast! Ellie is now 4.5 weeks old... it seems this first month has just flown by! There have been many ups and downs along the way... here is what the past month has entailed:
Ellie came home on Sunday April 13 and it is amazing how much has changed since then. Babies are so sleepy at first, so all she did was eat and sleep. I am breastfeeding her and the first week was a huge struggle given the fact that I am a new mom and I had extremely sore nipples from the hospital. Breastfeeding has been one of the most difficult parts of being a new mom (that and no sleep!) and I can definitely see why so many women give up on it so quickly! Your body is recovering from such a traumatic experience and you have to wake up every few hours to feed and have no clue how to do it right! All the books and videos only can guide you, but I felt like I read it all and watched the best videos and still had a lot to learn... I guess you just have to learn through experience.
Ellie had her first trip to the doctor Monday April 14 where she weighed 6 lbs. and 13.5 ounces... the doctor was content with the weight loss (they don't want your baby to lose more than 7% of their birth weight) and everything else was perfectly healthy! She did look a little jaundice, but the doctors weren't concerned... only me! This doctor visit outing was quite an experience though, Ellie got hungry during the visit because we had to wait quite a long time for the doctor. So I began to feed her while we in the doctor's office, which then was followed by 3 poopy diapers within 30 minutes! We went through so many diapers, luckily I had enough with us! Everybody told us we would be going through a lot of diapers, but I guess you don't realize what that actually means until you have your first baby!
So we had our next check up at 2 weeks on April 25... this visit didn't go as well. First it started with Ellie pooping all over Zach, the floor and I. Then we learned that Ellie was not back up to her birth weight, but instead weighed in at 7 lbs. 3.5 oz. The doctor didn't pressure to supplement then but said by next week if she hadn't gained enough, we would need to go that route. This put a tremendous amount of pressure on me since I am the one providing the milk and feeding her! I had thought breastfeeding had been going so well then (my nipples had healed, she was having plenty of wet diapers and we had a good latch!). They suggested that I try to nurse longer on each side to be sure she was getting the hind milk that makes her gain weight. Everything else looked good though, she was in the 50 percentiles (which means right at average) on her height and head circumference, but she was only in the 14 percentile (which means 96% weigh more than her) for weight since she was still low.
The next day we headed for a long day trip to see my great grandpa, PawPaw Keller. PawPaw is now 98 years old and is not in very good health so we wanted to make sure he could meet Ellie asap. He lives in Hickory, and we picked up my parents and my grandma along the way, so this was a very long day. It is very hard to travel with a newborn since they feed every 2-3 hours... so this was a very challenging task. You cannot feed her while driving since she must be in a car seat, so we had to plan everything out. On top of the challenge of making sure she was fed enough, the feedings were not going well at all that day. Ellie wouldn't go more than 5 minutes on each side, and the doctor had just told us to try to get her to go 15 minutes on each side! This stressed me out tremendously because I was trying to get her to gain weight, not lose it! I learned a lesson though, next time I definitely will wait to travel on a long trip if I can for the next baby until 4 weeks! But this was such a special moment, one that we will cherish for a long time... we had 5 generations together! (My great grandpa, my grandma, my dad, me and Ellie!) I definitely wouldn't give that up especially since it is so rare!
Well the next day (Sunday), nursing was not any better. I basically cried all day because I felt like nursing was failing. Ellie started clamping down and I was starting to have pain again in my nipples. I decided on Monday to call a lactation consultant to come out and help me. I did not want to give up on breastfeeding! I knew this was the best for her and the cheapest for us, so I was very determined! I definitely made the right decision because the consultant weighed her and she was already back at her birth weight, which took a huge amount of pressure off of me, and she seemed to be getting enough milk even though she wasn't staying on very long. Now the other problems with her clamping and my pain we weren't too sure about. There was nothing she could tell that was wrong with Ellie's tongue or mouth, and my latch looked good. So she left and decided just to make sure we have a good latch and that we could see some specialist to relax Ellie's jaw to prevent the clamping. The nursing did improve... and I felt oh so much better.
That week had many ups and downs with nursing, I started having this burning sensation after I fed when I felt cold. I talked to the lactation consultant about some symptoms I had and she thought I could have Raynauds' syndrome. Now after looking this syndrome up online and experiencing the symptoms for a few weeks, I am almost positive I do have it. It is not very painful, so I will continue to breastfeed... but it is something that makes nursing not very enjoyable. I will discuss with my doctor this coming Friday about possible treatments that will hopefully take the pain away. Pray that we will find one that works!
Since Ellie did not weigh enough at her 2 week visit, we went back in when she was 3 weeks to check her weight again. This time she weight 8 lbs. 3/4 oz!!! She had gained over 12 oz. in one week (they only expect babies to gain 1/2 to 1 oz per day). I was so excited and so relieved! It was definitely an answer to prayer, so there won't be another doctor's visit until she's 2 months.
So enough about all this medical stuff, Ellie is just beautiful and is awake a lot more! She still keeps us up every 3-4 hours at night, but I guess this is to be expected. Zach and I feel so blessed by this little one, she truly is a gift from God. Our wedding photographer, Abigail Seymour took some amazing pictures of her last Tuesday (May 6th). You can look at these pictures online by going to http://www.abigailseymour.com/pickpic/gallery/jump.php

and click on Ellie's album then use the password, Hamilton, to view it. It is so wonderful that I can have such beautiful pictures of her at this age.
So we have survived this first month! Being a mom is definitely harder than what Zach and I ever thought it would be (it's even up next to teaching!). Getting married you learn how selfish you are, but you can still get your way and not sacrifice much... but becoming a mom you realize even more how selfish you are, and this time you don't have an option... you must sacrifice almost everything! Moms don't get sleep, they have to do oh so much while recovering, you no longer get to choose when you can eat, shower, read, relax, clean, etc. You always have someone to think about above yourself! Even though this is extremely difficult to come to grips with, it is something that I am so thankful I get to realize and to learn. The Lord is making me a better person by becoming a mom, plus I get such a beautiful daughter to go along with it! I would definitely recommend to all newlyweds to wait a year before getting pregnant, but there's only so much you can do! I would never take back having Ellie, but this has proven to be the most challenging life experience so far. Getting married and having a baby all in the same year is tremendous emotionally, enjoy that first year just as a couple and enjoy your pre-pregnancy body! So much changes after having a baby and most of it is good, but there's just no need to rush each phase of life. Oh but I can't end with that... I have to end with something positive... even though this has been such a challenging time, I don't think I've felt so much love and joy! I don't even know this little person, but I would sacrifice anything and everything for her! This is definitely one of the best experiences of my life and I wouldn't trade her for anything! I mean look how beautiful she is: